Charles and Jolanda both grew up in big families and as such always envisaged starting their own soon after they were married. After a few years they started to enquire about adoption.
The couple were adamant that they wanted a sibling group of three, yet first time parents are rarely placed with sibling groups of over two. After panel however their social worker recommended them for a sibling group of three all under five and they were matched with a three-year-old and one-year-old twins.
The oldest child had been in a separate foster home so found the transition hard, especially dealing with sharing Charles and Jolanda’s attention with the twins. After nearly 18 months she is now used to sharing attention with her siblings and she enjoys her role as the big sister. The twins were able to settle very quickly and Charles and Jolanda ascribe this to their shared bond. They believe it gives them comfort to still be together.
The first few months were a challenge as Charles and Jolanda were constantly exhausted and emotional. The attachment process was also harder than anticipated. However, they now understand that this takes time for both parties and have seen much improvement. They are particularly grateful for the support they received from their church. The children were made very welcome on their first day and many people offered to babysit, allowing them to stay sane with the occasional night out.
Charles and Jolanda believe that it was absolutely the best decision to keep the siblings together and find joy in seeing how alike they are. Although adopting the sibling group has been hard, they know it was the best decision for the children, and for their family.