Ralph and Ruth's Story

Ralph and Ruth's Story

My husband and I chose to adopt a sibling group for a number of reasons; we wanted a big family, and we didn’t want to keep going through the assessment process. We also realised there were a number of sibling groups who were not able to be placed together and felt this was tragic (as one of three I could not imagine not having my brother and sister around).

Adopting a sibling group is wonderful. You suddenly have an instant family.  Going from none to four was a bit of a culture change for us if not for the children! They were able to support each other during the change and they continue to do this. They share experiences with each other and they are a unit. It is not easy as you try and juggle your time between them. They are very demanding on time and energy as you pour out your love to each one of them. Not to mention the noise level and the logistics of having four children (in our case we had four under five years old)!

We must never forget what children have been through before they came into the care system and the result can be very hard to deal with; you give them your heart and they can tread on it. These children have been exposed to so much hate, anger and neglect that they can find it difficult to trust you and love you back, and they carry that into their relationship with you and others. Our job is to love them unconditionally (which I don’t find difficult as I am truly in love with my children), however, I have cried a lot and been hurt by them. But that gives me a glimpse of what I do to God and what Jesus did for me.

Generally the children can get into trouble and you need to be able to be there for them whilst they go through this and be an advocate for them; I feel I am always fighting for them and that is really important, as who else will?

Our children have been brought up in our church community which has been a great place for them; they have lots of people from different generations so it is like an extended family with youth groups to be involved in and role models to look up to.

Adopting our children is one of the best decisions I ever made and I would do it all over again. I am a mum of four children who I adore and I know they have been chosen by God to be people of God. It is the most difficult yet rewarding job I have ever done.

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